I feel like I need to write something. About what exactly, I don't know. I just want to, you know, let it all out, but I realised that there isn't much to say. When I think about everything that has happened in my life this year, I feel accomplished. Then, not really. Yes I graduated from college, I got myself a job, worked like a dog for 5 months and I did some things that I didn't expect myself to do. However, do those really matter anymore? I sit in my bedroom everyday thinking if this is all gonna be worth it. If what you said comes true, then yeah I'm sorry, I'll go find a hole to hide my face. This time next week I should be trying hard to adapt to a new environment. Excitement is crawling in. I hope it stays this way.

Ok hello. I realised that I only use my LJ mostly for kpop and I feel so bad for you non-kpop lovers in my f-list I am so sorry~ Please bear with me lol. Anyway, THIS IS A BEAST POST. I'm too tired to lay out everything in great details but I will try my best lol.

( down down we gonna get down )

LOL surwei~ I know this is so backdated, it's almost becoming irrelevant. :( I hope anyone who read all of this actually enjoyed it keke.

OK BYE HAVE A NICE DAY :D

It's officially been one week since I started on my first job after finishing college last December. Took me long enough to plan out a proper schedule for myself. I was dilly-dallying with myself for too many months and I figured I should just do something already. I kind of miss the days when I can stay up till 5am doing nothing but now because of work, I always have to sleep by 1am or I'll die at work the next day.

I don't think I told anyone on LJ (unless we talk on twitter) about my job yet lol. I'm working as an art teacher for kids :D To be honest, being a teacher is the last thing I want to do in my life. As in.... I've really never thought about it. And I always tell people "I can't teach to save my life" because it's true ;___; I'm a horrible teacher. I don't know how to be cutesy around children and I'm like a robot when asked to hold them or whatever. I'm so awkward when they want to come sit on my lap lol. I THINK I'M ABIT LIKE ONEW :( I'm only good around children who're shy and quiet or those who know how to behave themselves during lessons. I need to learn how to be comfortable with all of them sigh. I teach a few teenage students too and they're really easy to deal with keke.

So besides teaching them how to draw/paint, I also teach them how to do crafts :3 It can be really fun but extremely strenuous too. When I don't teach, I just sit in the office and rot. At the moment it's pretty relaxing since I can take my time to do research etc, but I foresee the coming weeks to be really busy idk. I've been given a task to come up with 13 craft ideas, then execute them by next month because they're supposed to be broadcasted on a local tv channel in June. IDEK. I'M SO STRESSED BECAUSE OF THAT. THIRTEEN CRAFTS I CAN DIE OK!!! And I probably have to go on tv. DO NOT WANT. OMG FML. :((((((( I'd rather teach 10 extra classes in a week, I do not want to be on the screen. /cries

I don't know what to feel about my job yet, tbh. I don't love it, neither do I hate it. I think that it is sometimes enjoyable but mostly it's just awkward and boring. I rarely socialize with other teachers idkkk I don't know what their topics are all about half the time lol. I wish I could pick up their Chinese conversations faster boohoo. Oh, and this art school I'm working at is a subsidiary of my college, so it's pretty much like a part of the whole campus.... which means I meet the college staffs everyday. Ugh do not like it. But anyways, yeah everything else is alright. I can't wait to get my first paycheck. :D

OK, hello! I've finally got the time to type out a fan account of Super Junior's Super Show 2 in Malaysia last Saturday. IT WAS SO AMAZING AJDHL;SADKL OK I'LL GET STARTED RIGHT NOW. /breathes

My friend baosters and I arrived at Bukit Jalil about 3.30pm and there were already hundreds of people queuing up by the gates. The weather was scorching and people were just right under the sun for hours.... lol including myself. Upon reaching, I met up with cubixism who's been waiting under the sun since 10am omg (bb you are amazing!) :D Because we were stupid like that, my friend and I stood right outside the doors for the media (we were avoiding the sun!) and had no idea that people were already lining up for the RM238 tickets...... AND DUDE WAS I SHOCKED. The line was about a kilometre long!!!1 Thank goodness that it's for the numbered seats so I didn't mind the wait. ( OMG OMG AHHHHH :D )

20 years of my life and I've never had such a big fight with my father until 5 minutes ago. He's always been a man with very few words, but whenever he does say something, he's either very wise or just plain unreasonable. We hardly talk, simply because I understand my personal abrasive manner and I'm usually cautious, just in case I ever agitated his feelings. I never thought that such a small discussion would eventually cause such an uproar in this small house at this hour of the night. I even tried explaining myself without raising my voice, which is something that hardly happens when I quarrel with my mum. Truth is, I had no idea why or how he thought I was trying to be rude, so I just stood there all confused. I admit that I'm an awkward turtle when handling a conversation with my dad, but I swear I didn't answer him in such a way that would've triggered his anger. It went on with him using all sort of hurtful words that I wished he never used. The yelling didn't last very long, but it was the most painful 5 minutes. It stings the most when I was going to tell him that I have reasons for not getting a job right now, and that I still have plans to continue studying, but he shot back with "I know what you're thinking, but it's not going to happen."

I'm so lost, crushed and disappointed and I can't stop crying.

Why hello there, fellow f-list :D I think I need to do something new in my life... so I've finally decided to update my journal lol. YA OK THIS MAY BE BULLSHIT I think I've said that a thousand times before but I still abandon this place ugh. To be honest, life after I've finished college is honestly rather.... idk, dead. I do nothing everyday I'm just bored, tired and uninspired. I'm hunting for a job, going for interviews and things like that... but yet I'm so reluctant to start work. I think it's mostly because I'm afraid, especially after listening to my rl friends' stories about their working lives. Ugh I don't know asjdnsakjf :(

 

Actually I think I'll make an intro post soon, since I'm ~new~ and haven't made one before. ^^v

So... yeah, after 2 days of dilemma and what not, I finally decided to go for the SS501 fansigning in PJ, Malaysia. At one point I actually figured that, OK maybe not. I had no idea who'd come with me because I hate going to events alone, plus I kinda look stupid and lost alone... ALMOST ALL THE TIME. But thank God. The night before the fansigning day, my friend called and said she'd come with me and oh my god I wanted to cry lolol she's not even a big fan. The only videos she's watched were probably the "Hi Jane, hi Tom!" vid and a couple of their MVs. THANK YOU ZHI-NI, ILYSFM. ♥


( Long spazzy story and pics~ )